The Hitcher, 2007 – ★★

While Platinum Dunes remakes (Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm St, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre) usually suffered from absurdly dark nihilism, this remake of the Rutger Hauer film suffers a worse fate. It’s pointlessness and boredom. Throughout the film I’m finding movies i’d rather be watching, the original film, Duel, Breakdown, Joyride, all variations on a theme, and yet somehow Sean Bean playing batshit isn’t enough. Also, you can’t extend the mistaken identity plot this long. We all know that eventually the cops are going to realize the truth. Why prolong that. And who thought Closer was an ideal chase song? Everything has been done better elsewhere.

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