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A Life Less Monogamous

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Cooper S. Beckett, host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast now beginning its sixth year, author of the bestselling memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging and Polyamory, and guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, takes you back to the beginning with a novel about being a newbie in the swinging lifestyle.

Believe it or not, repeating their therapist suggested mantra “Today is the day we change our lives,” hasn’t made a whole lot of difference for Ryan and Jennifer. Their seven year old marriage has hit the wall, and they both yearn to experience the sexual explorations they never bothered to do in high school and college. Their therapy going nowhere, advice from friends unhelpful at best and detrimental at worst, they’ve resigned themselves to a long and steadily more sexless life together. Like everybody else they know.

Their resignation is called into question when they meet Bruce and Paige at a Christmas party. This older couple is cool, worldly, and surprisingly…flirty. Over the course of a long evening of wine, confessions, questions and answers, Ryan and Jennifer both feel the tug of attraction for Bruce and Paige, knowing they could never actually do anything with that. Unless, that is, Bruce and Paige happened to not subscribe to traditional notions of relationships and monogamy. Unless they happened to be swingers.

Now the door has been flung wide open, showing them a vast universe of possibilities, that all start at the front door belonging to Bruce and Paige. Today is the day they change their lives.

316 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 9, 2016

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About the author

Cooper S. Beckett

11 books98 followers
As a queer non-monogamous writer, Cooper S. Beckett endeavors to create characters that reflect the diverse lifestyles of his friends, his partners, and himself. From that mandate, he writes scary, silly, and sexy books and essays. Beginning his writing career as a podcaster and speaker in the sexuality education community, he wrote My Life on the Swingset, a memoir of his first five years in non-monogamy, then followed that up with two novels that take a brutally honest look at swinging and polyamory, A Life Less Monogamous, and Approaching the Swingularity. Returning to his first love, the horror genre, has been like a homecoming. From a young age, his obsession with horror movies and books seriously concerned his mother. It probably still does. Given a choice, he would rather winter at the Overlook than the Waldorf. Like Lydia Deetz, he has always thought of himself strange and unusual, be it his perspective on sexuality, monogamy, politics, or where Elder Gods ought to fall in the hierarchy.

He lives in Chicago with his wife, constant, and binary star, Ophilia Tesla, and their black cats Xander and Willow.

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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
Profile Image for Tori Renaud.
1 review5 followers
February 8, 2016
I received an advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

Beckett’s first novel is a hit!

Ryan and Jennifer are just like any couple you know; they love each other, but something is missing. This is the story of how they find what’s missing. It isn’t always sunshine and roses, sometimes it is painful; but in the end they grow stronger and more confident in their choices, their love, and their relationship. You’ll be enthralled in the sexy times, and brought to tears by the tough times.

Comical, sexy, gut wrenching, hopeful, and tear jerking. This book has it all! It is a realistic and relatable expedition into the gratifications and agony of non-monogamy. I found the story to have reminders of my own challenges and triumphs in exploring an open relationship.
Profile Image for Marla-Marie Dean.
Author 3 books3 followers
February 22, 2016
Finally, a book about the mistakes we all make as new swingers! Cooper S. Beckett writes about the whirlwind that you get caught up in at the very beginning of any new relationship and the lows after something goes wrong as if he's writing his very own story, word-for-word.
The sex scenes, while not as graphic as I write, are descriptive enough to make you feel like you're there watching everything from the side lines. It's not a romance or erotic novel, but it still gets to you like one.
I highly recommend this book to everyone, not just swingers. It's informative, seductive, funny, sad, and (most of all) truthful. By far, one of the best books I've had the pleasure to read in recent years. Thank you, Cooper, for showing this lifestyle to the world.
I was honored that Cooper allowed me to read as he wrote this wonderful novel. It was inspiring to be a part of something like this.
Profile Image for Sheila.
3,093 reviews46 followers
March 9, 2020
Jennifer and Ryan are bored with their marriage. Is this all there is? They meet Paige and Bruce at a friend's party finding out that they are swingers. Jennifer and Ryan are intrigued and call Paige and Bruce to meet. It all sounds exciting and is exciting when playing but there are many problems that need to be dealt with before it starts working.

I liked this story. I liked that it pointed out the problems that Jennifer and Ryan did not think about nor ask about. I liked that Noah, Ryan's friend, point blank told him what he needed to hear. I also liked that the women were strong throughout the story. This does not gloss over and present a "how wonderful this is" but gives a realistic look at what swinging is. I am glad how it ended.
Profile Image for Kerry Zukus.
73 reviews4 followers
August 5, 2019
Was shocked to discover this is a self-published book, as the quality of writing, as well as the story itself, far exceeds what one might expect from such fare. Beckett is a deft wordsmith and his story propels the reader rapidly onward throughout. I would categorize it as "romantica," though it is more instructional albeit through a fictional tale. Without getting too much into the dreaded spoiler arena, I was pleasantly pleased that this sex-positive tale did not digress into the worn-out puritanical trope that those who venture off the beaten path are punished for their transgressions (think of the horror movies where the kids get killed the moment after they have sex).
Profile Image for C.P. McClennan.
Author 27 books49 followers
April 23, 2016
This review also appears on my blog: Stranded in Toronto

I was given a copy of Cooper S. Beckett's new novel in exchange for an honest review. Now, I'm no literary reviewer, but let's see if I can make this puppy fly, shall we?

It is a story of Ryan and Jennifer as they being their journey outside the traditions of monogamy. A new friendship with a swinging couple, Bruce and Paige, who offer our heroes a way to spice up their marital experience.

This couple, given my lifestyle, I felt strong empathy for as they begin exploring the hushed lifestyle of swingers and swinging. Don't kid yourself; the population is estimated to be about 10% non-monogamous, and swingers only make up a portion of that. It is very hushed.

Having been through some of these scenes, myself, the author knows of which he speaks. Mr. Beckett hosts a podcast, "Life on the Swingset", so this comes as no surprise.

He even uses some similar references that I would...

"She's not Selleckian, you doof!"

I enjoyed the book. Recognized a lot of errors that are common in the lifestyle that Ryan and Jennifer work to wrap their heads around. One aspect I did like, in particular, is that they are a couple looking to expand their relationship rather than fixing it. The story is humorously erotic and has some real tension as the excitement mounts with their movement towards experience and deal with realistic newbie swinger conflicts that arise.

I would recommend this book, not only for entertainment but also for those curious about the lifestyle. It offers realism that my own sci-fi swinger tales just don't get to due to...oh, I don't know...distracting space ships and succubuses or something. It also is a good lightish hearted way of showing some of what goes on when first dipping those toes into the pool rather than trying to find it through the drier realms of blogs and non-fiction.
Profile Image for Sam Stone.
14 reviews1 follower
March 5, 2016
Ryan and Jennifer are a couple who’s monogamous marriage is growing sexually stale. They meet a swinger couple and decide to do something bold. In the process they discover themselves.
This is the story line in A Life Less Monogamous – a novel about swinging by Cooper S. Beckett.
When people ask me about opening up their marriage, I advise them to imagine what it’s going to be like; then be prepared for the experience to be unlike anything they have imagined.
For Cindy and I, like Ryan and Jennifer in the book, ethical non-monogamy was an amazing journey of sexual as well as almost spiritual discovery.
Cooper’s book is very human. It touches on the raw feelings and yes, emotions, that are often brought up by the various forms of non-monogamy. If you are already non-monogamous, read this book and be prepared to ask yourselves new questions about your experience. I know I did.
If you are monogamous, considering non-monogamy, this is a must read. It’s a great book even though it’s not a how-to manual.
If I have one minor nit is there seems to be an emerging narrative of non-monogamy stories embracing non-monogamy as a cure for relationship bed death. Yes, it can be that. I am concerned that this may emerge as building a use case for non-monogamy as a prescription, rather than non-monogamy being seen as an opportunity for fulfillment and discovery and authenticity as I believe non-monogamy can be.
Thank you Cooper S. Beckett, this is a great book. I think we need more ethical non-monogamy fiction. Stories like this build a case for ethical non-monogamy not only being possible, but also for ethical non-monogamy providing an opportunity for growth.
Profile Image for Wetlandia.
5 reviews
September 30, 2016
I received a copy of "A Life Less Monogamous" in exchange for an honest review.

I can't tell you how transformational this novel is. It's not a guide to consensual non-monogamy, and yet, you will still have breakthroughs, you will learn a ton, and you will get really attached to the characters. They're so human, so vulnerable. You are going to be able to relate to their fears, emotions, their confusion and their own limitations and possessiveness. We've all experienced jealousy. We've all been frightened and hurt.

You will probably not put this book down until you finish it.

I also want to give credit to Cooper for self publishing the book and doing an amazing job at it. It's also very fairly priced and I hope this will allow people to dip their toes into this scary and challenging topic.
Profile Image for Jarime.
13 reviews1 follower
March 12, 2016
This is a interesting tale of a couple that goes from a boring predictable life to jumping deep into the pool of swinging. Complete with a scene that could have easily been taken from Eyes Wide Shut.
It explored some very interesting realities that should be considered if you are contemplating this Lifestyle. I won't go into more detail because I would rather you bought the book and experience this story for yourself.
Profile Image for H.
36 reviews
May 9, 2016
This book is a pretty damn entertaining one. They author, Cooper S. Beckett, can be a little too clever for his own good at times. However, there is a charm present in his mixing of smutty situations, pop culture references and $10 words.

Overall... As sexy and as it is entertaining.
Profile Image for Greg Butler.
42 reviews1 follower
March 30, 2019
A Life Less Monogamous is a book of fiction literature that touches on the topics of the discovery of a non-monogamous relationship and the ups and downs that the lifestyle might deliver. I am someone who does not like to be locked in a box when it comes to choices. I like to investigate in areas that are foreign to me and try to be open to things that seem interesting.

This is a very good book if you are a vanilla too alternative lifestyles, specifically in relationships and sex. It has some interesting and pulse pounding scenarios that will at the least cause you to be conflicted in your thoughts, yet penetrable into your forbidden comfort zones.

My only downside to the book is I think the narration by the author was too demonstrative for a lack of a better word. I just think coming from his perspective it comes off a little to impressionable and leading. I would of loved to have another outsider with a non-bias tone deliver the dialogue of the male character.

I think if I actually read the book instead of listen to the audiobook, it might of had more of a personal impact.

If your mature enough to be open minded this book is damn good.
Profile Image for W. Jason Vejcik.
36 reviews
May 22, 2020
Um..Audio narrators, 1 star. Story, 3.5 stars. Afterword, minus 5 stars. The novel did have some interesting points. But it was overshadowed by the audio narration which seemed like it was recorded in a basement using a microphone from 1982. And the afterword.. I’m sorry, but the author makes himself sound so so so pathetic by inferring, and simply stating, that he grew up a dork and now he’s cool because he’s a swinger and now has had more sexual partners than the cool kids from his high school and college have. He basically says how cool he feels he is, is based solely on the number of sexual partners he achieves. He’s admittingly telling people he’s using a high number of partners to counterbalance and outweigh feelings of inferiority and insecurities ingrained in him during teenage/college years by having less partners than, what he calls, ‘the cool kids’. Psych word for that is overcompensating...
I’m not bashing the topic. I’m bashing the author’s motives and his afterward. It’s like he’s stuck in the mental age of his traumas. Which, I guess, typing this out, I realize that does happen. Sad...
Profile Image for Lara.
Author 14 books57 followers
June 16, 2018
A thirty-something couple, Ryan and Jennifer are bored, life is unsatisfying, love is unsatisfying, and they wake up after couples therapy with a mantra "today is the day we change our lives." From that point forward, they dive into chances and discover another couple who swing, and hop into that playground, too. They're not particularly prepared for it, and a lot of the actions are rash, and sometimes seems out of character. The motivations to change themselves, find excitement, however, make most of the mistakes ones the reader can empathize with. Haven't we all jumped in to some things without testing how deep the water can get first? Jennifer's bisexual leanings are rooted in past, unfilled attractions, so her relationship with Paige sort of plays out like a midlife crisis. Meanwhile, Ryan come off as less developed, which struck me as odd, considering the author is male, and I would have thought more development focus on the male characters' experiences as a result.
Profile Image for Shelby.
1,270 reviews37 followers
April 8, 2020
I thought this was really well written, and pretty interesting overall. The author has real life experiences to base this fictional story on. He didn't just research it and interview people about it, he lives it, which gave it authenticity. I also felt like all of the steamy scenes had purpose...there weren't sex scenes for the sake of just having hot sex scenes...they all either added something emotionally to the storyline, or were necessary in the development/progression of the storyline. It's definitely not for the easily offended or prudish types though...the "fade to black" technique is not used in this book lol. So of you like tame books, this one probably isn't for you.
Profile Image for Megan.
298 reviews14 followers
February 28, 2016
I was so excited to read Cooper’s novel, and once I got started I couldn’t put it down! It follows a couple starting out in the non-monogamous lifestyle and all the ups and downs of that adventure. This story was an emotional roller coaster in the best way, and I wasn’t sure it would all work out in the end… (Moral of the story: do your research or at least talk to people who have some experience! Or listen to the On the Swingset podcast.) Sexy, funny and definitely something I’ll want to read again and again.
1 review1 follower
Read
May 4, 2018
Well written. Very real characters with what felt like real life experience. I had a hard time putting the book down and was looking for more when I finished it. I am now well into the next book, Approaching The Swingularity: Tales of Swinging & Polyamory in Paradise.

Enjoy!!
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