A Taste of A Life Less Monogamous – Chapter 6

Welcome to A Life Less Monogamous, the first novel in my Books of the Swingularity series (behind the recently released Approaching the Swingularity). We’re releasing the first 20 chapters both in print (below) and in audiobook form (above), read by myself and Kat Stark. Enjoy these chapters however feels right to you! Read a chapter per day, read them all at once, mainline the audiobook, support this humble author by picking up a copy of the book. Whatever rocks your world. No matter how you read it, I appreciate your eyes and hope you share A Life Less Monogamous with others! You can find other chapters from the book here.

Chapter 6

“Paige!” called Noah, raising a glass to her arrival at the bottom of the stairs that ended in front of the basement bar.

Ryan smiled at her with a nod and tried to keep his direct gaze to a minimum, he’d already been caught looking on their first meeting and really didn’t want to make her think him some lecherous villain who couldn’t behave himself. Eyes back to his glass.

“Yes, Noah.” Paige folded her arms and slid onto the empty stool next to Ryan, on the far opposite end of the bar.

Noah leaned forward, then backward, then forward again, trying to look around both Ryan and Sam to the person he really wanted to talk to. “I need you to settle a debate.”

Sam shook his head. “There’s not really much debate.” He bored holes into his umpteenth Blind Russian, visibly embarrassed that Paige was being drawn into this vile guy talk. Perhaps also unwilling to look a beautiful woman in the eye at all. He sidelined his gaze to Ryan and rolled his eyes.

“Anything for you, Noah!” called Paige from the other end of the bar, tipping her glass. She reached down one long leg to run a single nail along her calf, perhaps scratching an itch. As she did, she leaned in closer to Ryan, filling his nostrils with the scent of, well, he didn’t know, but it didn’t smell like anything that could be bottled and sold as a scent. At once, he was certain this wonderful bouquet was simply how she smelled.

“Having fun?” she whispered to him, straightening back up.

Surprised by the overture, Ryan laughed to himself. His friends were quirky but genuine. The bluster and pomp that Noah put into everything rarely failed to elicit a smile, even if it was occasionally accompanied by a groan. And Sam, well, Sam was perhaps the one person in his life who always seemed more stressed out by the simple act of living than Ryan himself was. Was he having fun? “Always.” Then he did look Paige in the eye. The skin around her eyes crinkled as her mouth revealed a tiny smile.

“So what am I settling?” Paige asked Noah.

Perhaps to emphasize the importance of what he was about to ask, Noah set his drink on the bar and folded his hands. “We need a ruling down here, and when I saw you arrive I thought, who at this party would be better suited to answer this question than you?”

“Good Lord, Noah, that prelude.” Paige laughed.

Sam sighed entirely too loud to be anything but for show.

“Anal.” Noah let the word hang in the room, loud enough to catch the attention of a few other party-goers who Ryan didn’t recognize. The men stood, staring quizzically in Noah’s direction, holding steady with their pool cues. After a moment, the one on the left sunk the seven ball. “Should we hem, and haw, and—”

Ryan interrupted Noah’s bravado, and brought the volume of the discussion back down to earlier levels. “Not hemming and hawing, Noah.” He turned to Paige. “He doesn’t think we should warn—”

“Like we’re attacking or—”

Ryan continued despite Noah’s attempt to explain himself. “—our wives that we’re going to try to—”

“That we’re going to stick it in, Paige.” Noah slapped the bar hard enough that his over-filled glass of Scotch splashed droplets onto the bartop.

Ryan sighed and turned his face fully to Paige, her eyebrows sloping outward, lips pursed. “Yes,” he told her, pained.

“So,” she stood, touching Ryan’s knee as she did, and approached Noah. “You just jam it in there?”

Duck and cover, eh, Sam? Thought Ryan. “He tries,” he called after Paige.

“And fails,” mumbled Sam.

“Maybe Barbara just doesn’t want your dick in her ass.” Paige’s smirk grew, and she punctuated with a tip of her glass toward Noah.

Sam, emboldened, suggested “That’s something to consider, isn’t it?”

“So your conceit,” continued Paige, “is that women don’t like anal sex, and because of that you need to trick them by surprising them with that excruciating first push? Without proper lubrication I’ll assume as well, and no, Noah, spit doesn’t count as lube.”

Sam nodded, the way he likely had in the schoolyard seeing someone picking on his personal bully. “Nice summary.”

“She’s on to closing statements,” said Ryan, “then we, the jury, may retire.”

“That’s a bit simpler than I’d intended.” Some of Noah’s bluster was gone, but he continued, perhaps hoping to save a bit of face and convince the prosecutor of his innocence. “But, yeah, sorta. I do use Astroglide, though.”

Paige nodded, looking at the men at the bar, each in turn. She winked at Ryan.

He turned his focus inward. The touch, the leaning forward so he could smell her hair, the smile in her eyes. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear that this beautiful woman was flirting with him.

Did he know better?

“Well, Noah,” she began, putting her hand on Noah’s shoulder, “a good number of women who manage to get past that push actually love the sensation of anal sex, and by forcing the issue, you’re likely ensuring that she’ll never get past the clenching stage.”

The emboldened Sam was back. “See, Noah, have you thought about the clenching stage?”

Noah nodded at her, pursing his lips. “And you, Paige?”

She playfully poked at his nose. “I’ll never tell…you.” With that she scrunched her nose and grabbed Ryan’s hand. “C’mon, Ryan, you’ve outgrown this conversation.”

“You know, I thought that might have happened.”

“Bye, boys.” With a wink, she pulled him upstairs.

Thanks for reading this chapter of my novel A Life Less Monogamous! If you enjoyed it, I’d love it if you picked up a copy of either the ebook, paperback, or audiobook now, and shared it with your friends using the links below! You can find other chapters from the book here.

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